These eight like really big cupcakes have been following me around for a while. I finally took a bite of one and it screamed. So I stepped on it with my heel and it made a squish sound. But the funny thing is that instead of vanilla frosting, blood came out. —@KateGosselin
I write about politics to the best of my ability →
Ima be writing that blog →
I’m the new comedy blogger for Will.I.Am’s website Dipdive.com! I think about a lot of dumb stuff like sandwiches and monsters, read about it if you want! New post daily, so keep checking back!
New Honor Student video starring Bryan Cranston from Breaking Bad!
This woman wanted to get pregnant but not get married, right? So she met this...– The other receptionist at my work who reads about one romance novel a day on her Kindle. She then spends 10 minutes telling me the entire plot as if it were a true and miraculous story. It is the best/worst part of my day
Tell her you’re sorry she feels that way, but that is the color you’ve chosen;...– BARF! This was Darcy Miller’s (aka the queen bee over at Martha Stewart Weddings) advice to a bride who asked what to do if a bridesmaid didn’t love her dress color. Hey Darcy, someone with as much wedding community clout as you should wield it for good not for evil! “A good friend would...
A True Story
Standing in the “12 items or less line” at Trader Joe’s, the old lady behind me is shaking and making grunting sounds. She is buying a bag of crystallized ginger. Her gray sweatsuit smells like band-aids, probably because her hands and arms are covered in them. It seems likely that her entire body is covered in band-aids and I wonder if she has a difficult time feeling attractive. She scratches...