honorstudent: Hey there. This here is Comedian, the latest episode of our Funny or Die series God’s House. Watch Christians of Comedy tour member Todd Buns tell some jokes, then vote and spread the word. You’ll get angel wings out of it. Yay!
Overheard in Subway (the sandwich place)
Subway employee: What kind of bread do you want? Customer with a ponytail and moustache: Sourdough Me (inside my head): EVERYONE KNOWS THAT SUBWAY DOES NOT HAVE SOURDOUGH BREAD YOU TWAT!!
sitko: I’m kinda jealous of how amazing this is. I’m kinda jealous of how amazing this is. Uh-oh.
Wait for it...wait for it...there it is.
Personal Assistance Wanted (Los Angeles) Reply to: firstname.lastname@example.org [Errors when replying to ads?] Date: 2009-03-19, 5:59PM PDT My job is killing, i work about 50hrs a week and basicly have no time at all to water my lawn, pay my bills, sent/pick up my mail. I could really use an extra set of hands. Looking for a hard worker who i can trust to work for me about 25hrs a...
GUESTBREAKER: Your Freckle Fetish.
dealbreaker: “Oh, so like, you think freckles are cute. That’s cool” “No. I have an actual fetish.” “Well, what does that mean?” “I don’t want to talk about it right now.” (Jokingly) “Haha, so is this like an Oedipal Complex thing? Does your mom have freckles? Ha” “Well she does have freckles…but I mean…” “Oh my god. I have to go.” Don’t ever call me again. A Guest Dealbreaker written by the...
Friday night/Saturday morning
Get home at 5am stoned, hungry and very sleepy. There are Oreos in the cupboard and I want to shove about 75 in my mouth but I also want to immediately crawl into bed and go to sleep with all my clothes on. I stand in the hallway, contemplate this conondrum and weigh my options. Then I grab some Oreos, lay down in bed with the covers pulled up, turn the light off and quietly eat 4 of them in the...
I heart Honor Student